“When we have been prevented from learning how to say no, our bodies may end up saying it for us.” – Gabor Mate M.D.
Hmmm had to think a little bit to assimilate my thoughts.
On a note of personal reflection!, as I see myself and everyone else. We exist in myriad world.
It takes me back to my school days… just not focused with books, (now I understand that I am an audio visual learner). I score poorly on my mathematics pretest in my high school. I get called in the principals office. What happened you scored 15 out of 100 in mathematics? You understand if you get this score in the finals you will tarnish the image of the school and needless to say will have to re-take the whole school year. I was scared. I was. I was as I think of today. My classic conditioning wanted me to say yes to the suggested solution to be held back that school year and re-take the final board examination and score better passing grade.
As I sat outside the principals office as my future was discussed. At age 15, I had a big dilemma hanging over my head. What do I do? When I was called in the office to announce the verdict of the discussion, I knew there was scrunching in my stomach. I was not sure what it was at that time, but there was something within me that had me. I listened to the outcome, YOU cannot take the finals, we have decided that it will be better for you in the long run.
That was my first awareness of the quote, the body said it all, my upbringing and presence of the principal and family was alone intimidating and it was stopping me to say what I had to say. After persistent silence, I was being asked over and over and over again, if I got it. NO! I do not accept your terms madam principal but how about my terms. What happened next is a little haze but I remember something within the core of my being spoke up. My demeanor shifted. My voice was not timid. My body language was firm. It was like a force took over me. I said, I make a deal with you. If I do not pass the exam with elite score, I will refuse to move a grade up, and at that point you as a principal can kick me out of the school and I will accept the consequences.
I passed against all odds as an elite (in top scoring group). I did it. I took me all courage to follow my gut. I followed it.
Other occasions of my life I have learned if I choose not to say NO, out of politeness and customary expectation I end up more mentally and emotionally tormented than ever before. I feel sick, I feel restless, I feel stifled. My marketing Coach said to me one day in preparation of presentations, “One must learn when to say NO.”
When we are born, our classic training begins. Most often than a YES we hear NO. Don’t do that, No you cannot have that, No, No you can stay out late, No you cannot study your dream job because I (whoever that I is) think it is not right for you, NO you will not be in that relationship, so on and so forth. Well life goes on, within our parameters of existence, we often become mundane. We do not recognize how these conditioned or preconditioned responses effect us. We are trained to use our logic more than our instincts. We are trained to follow or go with the trend. We seldom see oh that has a potential even though right now the logistic is not the best. If I follow my instinct and do this, I will succeed. I rather go the safe route of an established pattern and follow the mid-path to existence. Stay in my safe zone.
Oh Yeah! we all like the safety nest. We all like to stay secure. We all like the level of (variable for everyone) comfort. That is the truth.
My REIKI Master/Teacher/Guru, shared there are metaphysical manifestation that are root cause of our physical body issues. Natural Internal resistance and yet going with the conditioned responses may result as a physical illness or symptom. He continued to say, when you heal or set an intent of healing, do not just look at the physiology of it, do not find something to prove, GO for the Root. I always keep that with me. He also said in the state of attuned healing, we are merely like wires of electrical energy making it move from one point to the other.
Over period of time, If I have prevented to say NO to some aspect of my being out of social situation, professional circumstances etc. I am the one in the long run who has to pay up for it. Clean Up is possible but it takes a lot out of you. More than often we say NO because we do not want to back up our response with an explanation.
A simple NO will truly eliminate a lot of our turmoils, circumstance, people etc. Go with the GUT and go with the FLOW!
Spirit led straight from the Heart – Joy Sagar is a Medium, Intuitive, Healer residing in the Cassadaga, FL area. About Joy!