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Samvad ke Do Akshar (Two words of the Dialogue)

Have you observed a clear sky? And just as you gaze and spend time staring at it…. You recognize the clouds start to form. from a sliver of white cotton like form to a big puffy ball of cotton ball. Soon with the wind and other elements of nature these clouds evolve and shape shift and transform and much more.
It is not necessary to have two humans interacting with each other to create a dialogue. We could have what I call and internal dialogue. Your physical self interacting with your consciousness OR your subconscious talking with your super consciousness. You have never observed that, have you?
I find myself doing that quite frequently. Especially when my dialogues are connected to my soul purpose. Where am I? who am I? what is my purpose?  how am I participating? how to get to a better state of awareness? am I alive? is my path the right one? and many more. 
For many moments its plain and quite. For many moments there is nothing but silence but when the dialogue starts happening this is how I feel. Like those clouds that I mentioned earlier. Other times I feel like I am in a Sumo wrestling match. Where I am fighting with myself in my inner self with all my might. I want to WIN that match. I want to have the UPPER hand. I WANT to. I SHOULD. I NEED to. 
Somewhere deep within I know we all go through these phases in our lives where we have to take a stand. Of these the most difficult ones are the ones that arise within. When it is a matter of dealing with other human being or man made situation it is far easier to be subjective, analytical, and or objective to find a resolve.
When the dialogue is internalized everything almost goes outside the window. We grow restless. We go into the shallow zone and fend for ourselves. We take the stance of fight or flight. We try all our best to protect and proceed in the moment. It is such a great feeling within of mixed emotions that is hard to differentiate from the real essence.
In my moments of such dialogue. When I am silent. When I am withdrawn. When I am aloof. I am learning to pinch myself every now and then. I am to tell myself I am still here. I am just like anyone else out there made of same composition of flesh, bones, blood and mineral composites.
But I really do not want to just exist. I want to be REALIZED. Even though I recognize my limitations that are like pre-existing conditions by virtue of being human, I yet know I AM a small, a very small fragment of that BIG consciousness. I am CAPABLE of realizing my full potential with my perseverance.
Do you have an inner dialogue? How does it sound, look or feel??



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